Why won't God just make me a better, mature christian right now?

Have you ever asked that question?  To God?  To a friend?  To a pastor?  As growing christians, we tend to get frustrated with our "spiritual" shortcomings.

We don't wake up as early as we need to in order to spend quality time in God's word.
I'm so lazy!
We can't bring ourselves to share the gospel with that co-worker we know needs Jesus.
I'm so dad-gum scared!
We determine our actions and appearances based on what others think.
Why do I care so much!

There are so many examples of stuff like this.  Things that we think because we have been christians for a minute we should be over.  We shouldn't struggle with this anymore.  We should be more "mature" than this.  I've asked myself questions like this all the time.  I've asked God why, I've asked friends why, I've asked pastors and men who have discipled me why.  "Please God take these weaknesses away so I can get on to advancing your kingdom and be a 'better' christian!!"

Just this morning I was reading in Deuteronomy chapter 7.  FULL DISCLOSURE: I'm currently trying to catch back up on a bible reading plan my small group started back in October to get through the Bible in a year.  I am really behind, like three books behind (God why do I always get so far behind when I do reading plans?)!!  I came to verses 21 and 22.  It says:

You shall not be in dread of them, for the Lord your God is in your midst, a great and awesome God.  The Lord your God will clear away these nations before you little by little.  

These verses come from when the Israelites are waiting on the plains of Moab to enter Canaan, the promised land.  God is speaking thru Moses telling them that he will give the peoples of the land of Canaan into the hands of the Israelites when they enter the land, that he will "clear away" the nations before them.  What stuck out to me though in these two verses was the phrase "little by little."  What is that about?  Then I read later in chapter 8 verses 11-17 the following:

Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statues, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end.  Beware lest you say in your heart, "My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth." 

Thanks for bearing with me there.  So after I read that little passage, some dots started connecting for me.  What if God had not said "little by little?"  What if he would have just destroyed everybody in their way and desolated every city and army that Israel would have to face all at once?  I think the passage in chapter 8 helps us out here.

***Before I go any further, I just want to state that this is my personal interpretation that I believe to be accurate and consistent with other biblical texts.  I have not read this in a commentary or in a study bible.***

I think that little by little detail is there because of the reality of chapter 8:11-17.  The Israelites were already prone to quickly beginning to worship other things besides God.  How quickly would they have starting worshipping themselves for their military prowess and celebrating themselves and their agricultural skills for how well the land would grow crop if every obstacle they faced was immediately and totally wiped out?  In a "little by little" situation, you still have to trust God along the way.  You still have to stand face to face with an opponent that is real, and actually much stronger and bigger than you.  You still have to go to battle with armies that outnumber you and only on the Word of God can you stand.  Nothing else is telling you that you will win, that you will survive.  Little by little still requires faith and trust.  It requires you to admit your dependency and weakness in and of yourself.  God is sovereignly dragging this out a little, to make for himself a people that completely and fully trust him and love him.  God is clearing obstacles little by little to build, and to shape, and to strengthen, and to love his people.

Now we know from the scripture that Israel will still go down a road of idolatry and they will suffer the consequences.  However, I think from these couple verses we can draw out a principle or truth to apply to the situation we find ourselves in so often, namely the why won't God make me better right now situation.  Maybe God is clearing away little by little the immaturities of your walk with him.  Of course we know that in our weakness his power is perfected (2 Corinthians 12:9), but in the things that we "should" be growing in, things that take us through this process we call sanctification, things that grow as love for God grows, in these things He will clear away obstacles little by little.

We aren't supposed to become christians and then be the boldest gospel proclaimers that we know the next week.  We aren't supposed to get up every day at 5am to study God's word when we don't even know where different books of the bible are.  Let me be clear here, I'm not saying that if you did just become a christian last week, and you literally share the gospel with everyone you know, that you're not supposed to!  What I'm saying is that the vast majority of christians, at least young American christians, aren't there.  Most of us aren't there because God is clearing away those cities little by little.  All we have to do is as Deuteronomy 6:5 says "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."

If we are doing this, God will clear away the cities.  If we are trusting him, God will give us deeper and more certain trust.  If we are seeking him, He will give us keener eyes to see.  If we are speaking the gospel to others, even just a little bit, he will give us a louder, more confident voice.

So back to the question we asked at the beginning, Why won't God make me the boldest, wisest, most compassionate christian I can be right now?  I believe it's because God, in his sovereign wisdom, is divinely protecting you from self worship.  He is protecting you from thinking that you know exactly the right words to say to convert someone and not depending on the Holy Spirit to give you words.  He is saving you from getting to the point where you get up early and read God's word just so you can "know" more than others or so you can win arguments with theology and apologetics.  He is saving you from worshipping yourself, from worshipping the created over the creator.  He is loving you with a steadfast love.  He is "doing you good" in the end as chapter 8 verse 16 says.

So, when you find yourself getting frustrated with God, that you still struggle with the same things.  Still too afraid, still too ignorant, still too unholy, still too ___________, Trust him.  Love him.  Seek him with all your heart.  Matthew 6:33 says to "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."  Seek and love God, and you will become a more disciplined Bible reader.  Seek and love God, and you will become a more bold gospel sharer.  Seek and love God and you will become a more compassionate and helpful person.  But don't seek and love God for these things, seek and love God to love God more.  Seek and love God because he loved you first and sent his Son to die for you.  Run towards God and he will clear away the cities that stand in your way:

LITTLE BY LITTLE.

The Greatest Offender Becomes the Greatest Defender

Today I was reading Acts 9, along with the Summit Church's bible reading plan (summitRDU.com/Bible), about the conversion of the greatest opponent to Christ and the Christian faith that has ever lived, Saul of Tarsus.  Just one chapter before his conversion, Saul was pulling people out of their homes and putting them in prison.  He "approved" the ESV says of Stephen's execution. He was binding those who had been set free in Christ.  And then, in the middle of the road, on his way to another raid of another town, it happened.

Saul had his first encounter with the God he had been persecuting.  A glory so great that he left that encounter blind.  And I'm tempted to add a verse in my Bible, although I won't because then it would cease to be infallible I'm sure, that says something like "And although Saul became blind, he could see more clearly than he ever had before."  At this point Saul was still Saul.  He wasn't converted yet.  But he knew this whole thing about Jesus was real.  He knew he had been wrong about the whole thing.  So even though he was blind, he had a better sense of reality than he had ever had before.  

That points us to the fact that our physical eyes, the two little orbs that rest in the middle of our faces (which can be blue, green, brown, zebra striped, or really anything else you want them to now that you can get contacts with all kinds of crazy designs), are not the most important instruments of sight for us. More than we need to have 20/20 vision, we need the eyes of our hearts to be open.  It is with the eyes of our hearts that we can see beyond this world when everything around us attempts to make us believe something that isn't true, or gives us a false perspective.  It is with the eyes of our hearts that we can see Christ working in this world even though it is utterly broken and full of wickedness and evil.  It is with the eyes of our hearts that we can see beyond our present circumstances, the glory that will be revealed to us.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, 

our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction 

is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory 

beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen 

but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, 

but the things that are unseen are eternal.

-2 Corinthians 4:16-18

It makes sense that to see something that is unseen, you have to use eyes that are unseen.  And to possess something that is unseen, it needs to be given to you by someone that is unseen.  Well that just leaves one person, God.  Would you just stop right now and ask God to give you eyes that see beyond the material reality we live in?  Ask him to give you "heart eyes."  

Now that we've covered that, I want to finish with the main idea that initiated this blog post, although the idea discussed above was very in"sight"ful to me. In the conversion of Saul we see God taking the greatest offender to Christ and the kingdom he instituted, and turning him into the greatest defender for the Christian faith ever.  God took the greatest threat, and by the Holy Spirit, not by anything done on the part of Saul, and made him the greatest spokesman for his kingdom.  This is what God does.  He takes things that are broken, things that are evil, things that are dead, and he makes them whole, good, and alive.  This is exactly what he did in the cross of Christ.  He took man's greatest evil, man's greatest sin, and made it his greatest grace towards men.  He made our crucifixion of the King of Glory, the path to our redemption.  He made the blood of the slaughtered King, the agent of our deepest cleansing.  He made the most horrible scene of death, our only way to receive true life.  

Only God can do this.  And he does it every day when he saves sinners.  He takes idolaters, and makes them worshippers of the true God.  He takes orphans, and make them sons and daughters.  He takes prostitutes, and makes them his bride.  And don't get it twisted.  You can't make yourself more eligible for his resurrecting power, his restoring grace.  What makes you eligible to receive it, is the very fact that you CAN'T make yourself eligible to receive it.  It is grace through faith.  God extends grace and you RECEIVE it.  

This is why the Christ of the Bible is so different than any other God.  This is why Christianity is so different from any other faith.  Nowhere else is there resurrection, restoration, and new life.  In Christ we are "new creations" (2 Cor. 5:17).  Christians aren't fixed versions of their old selves.  Christians are a completely new race!  We haven't been cleaned up, we've been made new.  

Only Christ can do this.   

   

A Sinners Prayer

Below I have posted a prayer that came out of my time in God's word this morning.  May this be the prayer of an ever increasing number of weary souls who have finally discovered that they can find life and rest in no one but Jesus, His cross, and His resurrection. 

Show me the gravity of my sin

by showing me the cross

Show me the gloriousness of Your love

by showing me the cross

Show me Your worthiness of worship

by showing me the cross

Show me the depth of Your grace

by showing me the cross

Show me your faithfulness never-ending

by showing me the cross

Show me your perfect holiness

by showing me the cross

Show me Your supreme power

by showing me the cross

Show me your unmatched humility 

by showing me the cross

Show me Your immovable justice

by showing me the cross

Show me the victory of Your mission

by showing me the cross

Show me my merciful King

by showing me the cross

                                    Amen

God's Dream for Your Life

Check out the call to discipleship and God's dream for your life that Wes Smith gave at SC United on September 7th!  The dude talks really fast but it's a good word.  "You can't microwave a disciple, you gotta slow cook 'em!"

God's Dream for Your Life from Summit College on Vimeo.

Čao from Belgrade! Cako cte?

Hello everyone!  I apologize that it has been so long since my last update.  So we are getting towards the end of City Project, which is the summer discipleship program we have through the college ministry at the Summit.  We are currently in our international portion of the program.  Each student goes to one of three locations including: Nairobi, Kenya; Taipei, Taiwan; and Belgrade, Serbia.  I am in Belgrade with a team of 9 students and two other staff.  We have been here for about a week and have been on the go since we hit the ground.  This past week we spent much of each day running a VBS for the children of a Roma gypsy village in Belgrade.  We had about 50 students that we got the privilege of loving, getting to know and sharing the gospel with daily.  We saw the Lord work through some very difficult language barriers with the kids.  Most of them couldn't speak one word of english, and by the end of the week they were singing our english songs!  They were so awesome and it was such a blessing and encouragement to see how the church in that village is growing and even now looking for a bigger space to meet on Sunday evenings!  Today we had a more relaxed day to rest up for next week which will consist of teaching english classes every day.  We will teach two classes for kids and one for college students.

We are staying in a place called Studenski Grad which means "Student City."  This is basically a bunch of dorms where all the most intelligent students in Belgrade stay.  The students that stay at studenski grad actually attend 1 of 4 different universities.  So there are students from several universities staying in the same dorms.  Imagine students from Duke and Carolina staying in the same dorms!  lol.  Anyway, there is an area in the middle of the dorms like an outdoor amphitheater.  Every night the students congregate on those benches and just hang out.  For the past several nights we have been going out and just meeting students and getting to know them.  It has gone very well and I believe God has given us much favor with them.  We have had some interesting conversations with them on the many differences between our culture and theirs.  Many of the students we have met have even come to the movies with us to see spider-man 3d!

Over the past week, our team has definitely developed a deeper unity with each other in the midst of many difficulties (language barriers, no ac, heat).  God has been very gracious to us and has been faithful in drawing us together even in moments when we have been selfish and not kingdom-minded.  Pray for us that we would continue to exercise showing grace often to each other.  Pray we would continue to serve and sacrifice for each other in order to preach the gospel to each other daily.  With half of the trip gone, it's easy to start to check out of what we are doing, pray we would fight that desire.

Because this will probably be my last post before we return to the states, I want to ask you to pray that the Lord would give our team a heart for the nations and even specifically a call for some students to pursue full-time overseas missions.  Thank you for all your prayers so far, they are greatly appreciated and it is encouraging to know we have people supporting us back at home.  We will be flying out at 6am on the 21st local time.  Pray for safety.

In Christ,
Donovan

p.s. the title of this post means "Hello from Belgrade!  How are you?"    

Jesus In My Place

So I wanted to take a quick minute and share with you my thoughts on the new worship album from the Summit Church released on iTunes today.  Of course I am biased toward this record because I am on staff with the Summit and I get to serve alongside the folks who crafted this album.  However, I am writing this review on behalf of the Lord Jesus Christ my savior, and the glory He deserves.  There are 13 tracks on this album, 11 of which are full-length songs.  The other two tracks are musical interludes that even though they are not full-length songs are super worshipful.  Every song on this album from beginning to end stays true to the title of this album, "Jesus In My Place."  Every song displays what it really means that Jesus took our place and reconciled us to the one true God through his precious blood.  I liked what a friend of mine Liz Nicholson did on her review of this album so I will take the same structure by reviewing each track individually.

1) We Welcome You With Praise(feat. Sam Fisher)

You may have heard this tune before from the passion album a few years ago but the version that is on this album is so tasteful and change of pace.  This song is an opening prayer for the rest of the album, simply that "we welcome you with praise, almighty God of love be welcome in this place."  This place being, in our churches, in our lives, in our hearts.  Lord Jesus receive the praise you deserve through this album.

2) You Are(feat. Hank Murphy)

I will start by saying that Hank is the man and has one of the best voices I think I have ever heard.  The dude can flat out sing!  This is a more upbeat song, but still stays faithful to the message of Jesus In My Place.  It is an awesome anthem that Jesus in the great "I AM," and there is none like him who can do all that he does for us.  It's a foot-tapper and head-bobber for sure.

3) How Rich a Treasure We Possess(feat. Kelby Dover)

We have been singing this song at our church for a few months now so everyone gets jacked up when they hear it on the cd.  This song, I would say can be place in the category of a hymn with a modern rhythm and instrumentation, which I love.  Those theologically rich hymns put to modern instrumentation is so awesome and I fully expect this song to function exactly the same.  Also, Kelby has such a unique and distinct voice that I think is a perfect fit for this song.  

4) Interlude 1

Just listen to this interlude and tell me what I said earlier isn't true...you won't!  And my voice is mixed in there somewhere so I like listening and trying to find my voice..ha...I had to be honest with you.

5) Jesus In My Place(feat. Matt Papa)

When Matt Papa and Jonathan Welch wrote this song, I wonder if they knew what it would become.  This song is literally an anthem of the Summit Church.  The people at our church absolutely love this song and connect with it every time we sing it during our services.  The thing is, anyone anywhere can and should connect with this song like that if they have found faith in Christ.  It simply puts words to what Jesus has done for us, for all of us.  Not just for us on on worst days, but for us on our best days.  We need Christ to experience real life, real freedom, real love.  Once you hear this song, there is no way you won't buy this album.

6) You Are Our King(feat. Jennifer Brown)

This song was written during a sermon series our pastor was teaching through called "the search for a king."  The series focused on the life of King David and how he was simply a foreshadowing of the true king that would come and give up his life for us.  The chorus says "...you're all we need, you're all we need, only you only you Jesus."  This lyric speaks to something our pastor says a lot and something that is included in his recent publication Gospel: Recovering the power that made Christianity revolutionary, the fact that Jesus is all we need for everlasting joy.  Having everything in the world is nothing without Jesus.  Having Jesus and nothing else in the world is everything.  In Jesus you have all you will ever need, because in Jesus you are a child of God.  Also Jennifer's voice is unbelievable.  She kills it!  If it tells you anything, I'm pretty sure we started doing this song in a female key because of her.

7) Revive Us Again(feat. Matt Papa)

Okay we're halfway there.  This song is a plea for God to come and make the truth of the Gospel alive in our hearts.  That's what a revival is.  The truth of the gospel awakening people's hearts to be on mission for Christ.  This is a prayer of mine every day, that the gospel would become more sweet and irresistible to me and change the way I live.  The dynamics of the song are awesome.  The way the bridge builds up only to drop back down for a more mellow half of a verse, then jumps back up into the chorus is super creative and appealing to the ears.  Every time I lead worship at our church, I love leading this song!

8) This Is The Gospel(feat. Sam Fisher)

I was pleasantly surprised when I heard this song on the album.  It adds a very catchy groove to the cd.  This song just makes want to roll down the windows and belt out the end of the chorus "and I am not ashamed, no I am not ashamed, This is is the gospel."  Then when they add the acapella and drum bridge at the end I just want it to keep going!  

9) Interlude 2

This interlude will have you on your knees is awe of the creator who came to the earth and willingly received the wrath of God on your behalf.  Even without words, I am so in tune with the cross of Christ when I listen to this.

10) Savior of The World(feat. Hank Murphy)

This is a little different arrangement of the original written by Ben Cantelon.  And no offense to Ben, but because I'm such a Hank Murphy fan and because he's my friend, I like it better when Hank sings it.  

11) We Bring Our Highest Praise(feat. Kelby Dover)

If you're looking for a new congregational worship song to introduce to your congregation or to learn, it should be this one.  It might just be my favorite song on this album.  First because it's so easy to learn and because when that chorus hits, the hands go up and people worship.  Sometimes I sit at home and just play this song by myself and worship Jesus.  The bridge is so awesome because it helps up realize that everything our hearts long for  and search for in other things, has always been there in Christ and his cross.  You will love this song.  That's a guarantee.

12) Thank You My Lord(feat. Haven Sink and Matt Papa)

First of all, Haven has one of the most pure and beautiful voices you will ever hear.  It is a blessing to have her at our church.  Okay now that I have my love for Haven's voice our there for the world to read I'll move on.  When you hear thing song you will want to just close your eyes and think about how much the song is relevant to you.  How it shows you how much you have that you aren't thankful for and most of all how we don't fully understand or grasp what we have in Christ.  This is the posture we should have and song we should sing every morning when we wake up.

13) Forever We Will Sing(feat. Kaimy Masse and Hank Murphy)

When you get a whole congregation singing this song, there is a 100% chance you will get jacked up!  I know this is a picture of what heaven will sound like.  It's so simple with not many words, but man those words are heavy and life-changing.  It's all we will desire to sing when we get to heaven "Worthy is the Lamb, Jesus Son of God. Risen from the dead, forever we will sing!"  Then when Kaimy starts belting, it's over.  Her voice makes people worship Jesus I'm telling you.  There is no way you can listen to this song and not lift your hands, scream, sing louder, clap, get goosebumps, bang on something or some combination.  I couldn't picture a better track to end the album on.  

So if you haven't figured it out by now, the next webpage you should go to is itunes to buy this album.  And I've conveniently included it here. So, buy the album, be blessed, be encouraged, worship Jesus and live a life that declares the message of JESUS IN MY PLACE!!!! 

Infinite Power and Infinite Love Meet at the Cross

Mark 15:29-30
 "And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, 'Aha! You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself, and come down from the cross!'"

I was spending time today reading through the last week of Jesus' life on earth.  While reading this passage really struck me.  These people were mocking Jesus and yelling at him to bring himself down from the cross if he was truly the son of God.  I have thought before to myself, "Why didn't Jesus just come down from the cross to shut those people up and display His power?"  Indeed he would have shown His power over them and over some nails and a cross.  He would have shut them up and shown himself to be divine.  

But then I thought about it more today as I was reading.  What is a display of greater power, coming down from a cross, or resurrecting from a grave after being dead for three days and shut up in a tomb in a rock?  In resurrecting from the dead, Jesus not only defeated the efforts of people to kill him but he defeated death!  He defeated the grave!  He defeated sin!  In rising from the dead, Jesus showed himself to possess an infinitely greater power than what it would have taken to come down from the cross.  He showed himself to possess the power of God alone, and therefore proved his claim to be the Son of God and the Word in the flesh.

Then i kept thinking.  What else would have been different if Jesus would have just came down from the cross instead of dying and resurrecting?  Well, simply put, God's love would not be infinite.  Because Jesus died and didn't "almost die," he showed the ultimate measure of love, a love like no other, a love with no end.  And, without dying, there can be no resurrection, and without the resurrection, we are still under the power of sin.  The gospel is not good news without the resurrection.  

In God's perfect plan and love for us, his infinite power and love meet at the cross.  The Lord humbled himself to be crucified innocently by sinners who mocked and spat on him, who rejected him.  All because of His infinite and matchless love.  Romans 5:8 says, " but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  Jesus died once for all, for the sins of the whole world for all of time.  Every sin paid for, not one uncovered by His blood.  We didn't love him so then he died for our sins, He died in the midst of our sin and rebellion.  In the midst of our rejection of Him.  To die for an enemy is a love that cannot be explained.  

We don't have to explain God's love for us, we simply just have to accept it freely.  Will you accept freely the love that is offered to you?  Will you tell everyone about the infinite love that is offered to them?  Remember Christ died for the world, not just for a few.  Christ's resurrection gives us power over the world.  We should not be afraid of the world.  We should pray as Paul did in Ephesians chapter 6, "... that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.," that is the gospel.    

I hope as Easter approaches, you would meditate on what it is we are celebrating.  We are not just celebrating our sins being forgiven, we are celebrating the attributes of God.  We are celebrating our eternal communion with our creator and the creator of the world!  We are celebrating the fact that God is who he says he is!  We are celebrating that we have an unshakeable hope!  We are celebrating the victory, the victory that we will celebrate for all of eternity!  THE VICTORY OF OUR GOD! 

"Love has come, Your love has won!"  
- lyric from White Flag on the Passion White Flag Album released march, 2012